Everyone wants to tell me 25 things about themselves

So everyone and their dog has a facebook account now, and they all are using it to tell me 25 factoids about themselves and seem to want me to tell them 25 back, but I don't really know what I'd say. I think people who know me, know me. And those who don't probably won't figure me out from a little list of facts. That said, I have a text edit page open in which I'm trying to come up with things. I'm a loser sometimes.

I'm also a winner sometimes! I win at creativity and funny! Yay! Today is Saturday, so of course this morning Meridian 13 News met to finalize all our rewrites and write our transitions. Our first podcast will be recorded this Thursday night, edited this Friday, and posted on iTunes this Saturday!! Woohoo! I'm not sure if the blog has been updated yet, but we are working on the whole self promotion thing. We're giving all the characters facebook pages and making a fan page for M13N itself. We also discussed throwing a launch party for the first podcast. We're gettin' fancy up in hurr! I'll be sure to keep you updated about all of this, and I hope that you all will attend the launch party when it happens (probably next Sunday since two of our 5 contributors cannot attend anything next Saturday night).

I'm keeping up with my homework nicely, and that makes me feel awesome. I always get everything done, but it's nice to pace it out instead of doing things the night before. I only have one thing left to write for next week and then I have to read a play. Easy breezy. I'll be able to get some extra writing in, which rocks my socks off. I should practice piano too. I can finally tell that I AM actually getting better at it. It feels so nice to be able to sit down and play a song all the way through in the time it's supposed to take. Thank god for all those classical largos and adagios. :-)

I'm feeling much better today than I was whenever I last posted. Yesterday, I guess. I still don't like all that business, but I'm creating things today and not stuck on all that.

Speaking of creating! I spoke with Connor quite a bit earlier today about New Helvetia. Looks like they're going to do Baker's Wife earlier in the year than this summer. Maybe in April. And then do Hedwig and THEN Grass Harp. So three shows instead of just two. Hopefully that works out, as I'm really banking on Grass Harp happening. We also discussed maybe doing Mack and Mabel instead of Grass Harp this season and saving it for another year. I'd go to Mack and Mabel with them though. I'd love that, but I am really hoping for Grass Harp. We ALSO discussed having me and his fave music director just get together during the day while one show is up and churning out a full length show in a month and putting it on. Not sure if that's even possible, but I am so up for the challenge. I think that sounds absolutely amazing and well worth trying. I want my work up and in front of audiences. I want to see reactions so I know what to do. Sondheim said that the most important thing is to write and have it performed and just keep doing that. I believe him.

Right, I'm gonna get back to reading so I can have tomorrow for my song.

So here's the deal

I feel strange right now. Not ill. I feel like I wasted a lot of time and didn't think I was wasting time. I thought I was doing things right. I thought my life was going pretty swimmingly, and that I had things pretty much sorted out. I have to really pour myself into projects constantly right now to have any sort of focus. I just keep thinking about how very wrong I was and more about how I had no clue. It's scary to think that the world can shock you so thoroughly at moments in your life. It makes me not want to leave my house. Of course, I'm not the type to become a hermit over one little scare, but I just spent the past five months thinking part of my life made perfect sense and was right, and that part of my life was apparently completely wrong. It's mostly frustrating because while that's ended/changed/whatever its become, I still see how it DID make perfect sense and how it WAS right. So why'd that stop? Why'd it suddenly become a waste? I don't really know, nor can I know, and I hate that it's not something I can go to the library and just figure out. It's something I have to be okay with not understanding, because I had no control over it and I will not get an answer. The worst part is, I simply do not want to trust anyone now. That's not a way to live. That's not a way for ME to live. I think of myself as open and friendly. I write. I share my soul. It's what I want to do with my life. How am I supposed to do that if I cannot just trust?

In the past week I have written five songs, written six scenes, cooked way too much, read ferociously, and created a frenzy of self-promotion. If I stop doing anything I just get caught up in my head and feel like my brain will explode trying to find answers. They aren't there. I need to stop looking and stop caring. Really, if this is how things turned out, then what I thought I had is not worth hoping for. I know this is all vague and almost nonsensical, but I'm writing for me. I guess I'm just telling myself that it's okay to not know why things changed and that it's not my fault. I'm not a bad person. I will keep doing the things I love and they will be comforting, like they have been all week really, and I will move forward and just be me again. I miss being me, but I'll be back any day now, I think.

YES WE CAN!

Hey y'all!

You have probably all heard by now that I'm vying for a spot on the Big Gay Skecth Show. The show is LOGO's half hour sketch comedy show (think SNL, but better), and it's amazing because not only do they sing and dance a lot, but they also have recurring Elaine Stritch and Liza Minnelli characters!!!! They need an Ann-Margret, and who better for the job than yours truly??

Anyway, it's the first time I've ever participated in something that feels like a reality program (the winner is selected through online votes. The final five are reviewed by the producers and they pick one to audition for the job). I'm excited about it, and after being on the site for less than a day I've already gotten over 60 votes. I'd like to keep this pumping, so check out the site here and vote for me. You can vote every 24 hours, so if you are up for it, I'd love you if you voted daily.

Right now my profile just has photos and blog entries, but I'll be putting up videos this Friday, so check back for those!

xo,
b

The final week of yoga month

I did yoga today. This evening when I got home. I only did about twenty minutes, but it was nice. I make no guarantees that i will make it to an actual class this week, as this is a very busy week at school, but I'm okay with that. I think I learned things in yoga month, and I feel confident about what I accomplished in this very up and down month. Mostly I learned that I am fine exactly as I am, and I can't worry about what I will or won't be. I can only focus on who I am in the present. I think that's quite a good lesson to take from January 2009, but who knows? I might make it to another class or two and learn something even more profound, but if I don't, that's fine too.

I'm sorry for the bitchiness of yesterday's final post. I was angry, but I know that the issue really had little to do with me, and I certainly didn't lose anything that I cannot live without. I will be better for all of this I believe, even if it does suck just a tiny bit.

Anyway, the second years at school are all at Goodspeed this week doing workshops of their thesis projects, so cycle 19 has the whole school to ourselves. Lots of practice room availability, etc. It's nice. I don't really think their being gone will have a huge affect on school though, but it was nice to leave the classroom doors open today and not have to worry about being loud.

I need work on my rewrite for Meridian 13 News and email it to Dimitri before Thursday. I'd like to be able to send it to him on Wednesday morning actually, but I know I'll be too busy with school stuff between now and then to work on Meridian 13.

Last night Hudson and I made a video about Martin, whom we are dog sitting. Check it out here. The music is definitely the best part of the video. We also had a photo shoot in the living room, because why not? Besides, our house is still clean from my Miss America party, so we had to take photos as proof that we could keep our house looking nice for more than 24 hours. In fact, it's still clean today, though I did finish off the last of the Miss America chili today, so all other evidence of the party has vanished.

Okay, I'm going to bed early. I'll write a better entry tomorrow or Wednesday. This one was a cop out.

No more douche bags

Look at me. I am hot and fun and smart and young and pretty damn put together.

In a year and a half I will have a Master's degree. I am a talented writer and performer. I can run in heels, type 70 words a minute, sight read like whoa, juggle, ice skate, knit, do yoga, I know CPR, I'm an amazing cook, I read the New Yorker, and on top of all that I have goals that I will accomplish with or without help.

Douche bags need not apply.

Meridian 13 News

Yay! Cream of the Crap picked a real title that has something to do with what it actually is!! Meridian 13 News now exists, and I suggest you check out the blog! The first podcast should be up and running the first Saturday of February if not a little sooner. We chose character names at our meeting yesterday, and worked on different short songs and sketches for the first recording. Everything sounds so good!! I have to rewrite my piece a bit, but now that I get the characters a little better and realize how brutal we're getting it should be a breeze. It's so much fun to write stuff that you know will have an audience and that you enjoy writing. I knew there was a reason I was doing this whole graduate school thing. I'll give more details on this project as they come along. It's not through school, so I can actually blog about it!

School is busy. Lots of homework to do today, but that's not anything new. I'll just spend a lot of time writing, which is what I'm good at and how I should spend my weekends anyway, so no biggie.

Last night I had my annual Miss America viewing party. It was strange for several reasons. Most of my guests didn't really care about what happened, so I missed a lot of what was going on while I was playing hostess. However I did see that I was not as impressed with Miss Indiana as I was with Miss Georgia and Miss Michigan. Of course, I don't know how the interviews went, but I thought Georgia and Michigan were the most talented two on the stage last night in Las Vegas. At least Miss Georgia was first runner up. I was right in my prediction that Miss New York would be in the top five, but I have to say I was a little shocked that Miss Arkansas made top fifteen. Don't get me wrong, I think she's beautiful and talented, but she's a very young Miss Arkansas, and she's fairly new to the whole system. I'm proud of her and happy for her though. I think she represented my home state beautifully, and I'm glad somebody up there had bangs, because bangs are pretty awesome and downright bold in the world where the higher the hair, the closer to god is the mantra. Just based on their program information, I thought Miss Texas would be in the top five as well, but I don't think she made top fifteen even. A little disappointing there. Oh well.

Lots of people showed up, which was pleasant. I always worry that no one will come to anything I throw because my house is so far from everyone. That wasn't the case last night though! Stephanie and Elon were the first to arrive, and they brought a bottle of red wine and I served them chili. Then Matt got here, followed by David Heidelberger, Dan, Victoria, Paul, and Luke. It was a full house and we all ate, drank, and were merry. I had a good time, and the mess wasn't even all that bad. Just some bowls and glasses. We were having fun, so after the pageant ended, people stuck around and we watched Death Becomes Her, because why not watch a rather gay film on Miss America night? Matt wins for staying the latest. It was nice to visit with him and hear what he's been up to (which isn't much, but sometimes you need that). He and Hudson and I chatted it up until around 1 AM. Then I hopped on those dishes, played with the dogs for a bit, and hit the hay.

Today I'm hoping someone will show up for the first NYAS reading of this year, but everyone who was planning on coming seems to have grad acting program callbacks today, so it might just be me. If that's the case we'll just move this reading to a different weekend, which probably isn't a bad idea for me anyway, since I have so much homework to do today. I'm sure I could do both, but I'll be a little less stressed if it's just one or the other. I'm a not pleased with how NYAS has slowed to a halt. Grad school's kicking my tail, I guess. I think when Tom and I are less busy we can get it back to the pace it was moving at when we started.

I tell you what. The best thing about having a party last night was that I made sweet tea, and there's tons of it left, so I get to be Southern all day and chug sweet tea. How great is that? Bonus!

And to close, yoga month is a big failure. Big whopping failure. I like yoga. I feel like it was doing me good. Even so, I've not been to a class since before I had my flu, which was some 12 days ago. Eeek! I have this final week of January to try to fix things and actually follow through with yoga month. Wish me luck. It's a pretty busy week as is with tons of schoolwork and Meridian 13 News starting up.

Because two Olivier Awards is nothing

Tomorrow night I'm going to an acting masterclass taught by Philip Quast. He's got three Oliviers, bitches. Anyway, I'm singing an R&H ditty, and thoroughly excited to be getting performance feedback, since I never get that anymore. I don't want to forget that I'm an actress, too. I know it's been ages since I was in a show or even at an audition (October?), but I do want to keep performing as well as writing. I think it's important that I do both and do them well, so just because I'm honing one craft now doesn't mean I should be letting the other slide. Lots of people do more than one thing, and those who do more than one thing well work at them. End of lesson.

And speaking of doing lots of things, holy cats, this semester kicked in and hard! I turned in two songs today (both went well!!), had a seminar, had a new class, went to a rehearsal, and even got my butt to the library to pick up some books. I've got a song going up tomorrow, I'm singing two songs tomorrow, I have to write two new songs for next week for school, I have to write a Cream of the Crap (tentative title. In case you can't tell, I really hope we pick something else to call this whole podcast thing. I think that title's way too gross) for this weekend, NYAS is kicking off 2009 on Sunday, Mr H's bday celebration is Friday, Anna Ruth's bday is tomorrow, Philip Quast is tomorrow, and my Miss America party is Saturday. I'm such a social butterfly. I'm pretty much a character from Gossip Girl right now or something. It's insanity up in here.

Anyway, at the library I picked up a copy of Absurd Person Singular, NYAS's first read of this year, and A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian. It's not what it sounds like. It's a novel about a man writing a book on tractors, and it's the book club's first book. I feel like we should name the book club, just because I don't like when groups don't have names. Oh, did I mention? I'm in a bookclub? It's a new thing. It was V's idea, and it looks like it's her, Paul, Dan and me. We're all supposed to invite people to join who don't attend GMTWP as well, so we can each socialize with a few people who have nothing to do with our writing program. I'm thinking of dragging Tom along, but I don't know if he'd be interested. I'll have to ask. I feel like most of my friends aren't big readers, which I just don't understand, since NYC thrives on public transportation, and books were friggin' invented for that sort of stuff. Whatever. The library is gighnormous and it's beautiful tile floor and echoey atrium make me want to wear high heels every day. You just feel so glamourous walking across that huge open space and clicking with each step. Heads turn.

High heels! Skirts! I decided that this semester I'm going to start dressing more like a grown up and less like an overworked soccer mom. I'm 24, not 42. These are my glamour years. I've never been one to get caught up in my attire, but I do feel better about myself when my appearance is tidy. It's been easy so far, because I need to do laundry and only my nice clothes are still clean. Michael John complimented my outfit on Tuesday, and I think that's the inspiration I need for the rest of my life. I want Michael John compliments every day, so here's to tight dresses and cute shoes, duckies!

I'm very proud of myself for today. Not only did my songs go over well and did I utilize the library instead of buying yet another book (I have to get rid of some of the ones in my home. I have no space to breathe for all the damn books in my room.), but I also came home, plopped down on my bed, and did homework! It's not due tomorrow, but I did it anyway! I'm very very very bad about procrastinating when it comes to schoolwork that isn't collaborative, so this was a big deal. Be happy for me, dammit. I read stuff AND I started a song that's not due for a whole week! Booyah!

But about that yoga month... Right... Um... Failing miserably since my illness. Must must must must must get back to class. Must cleanse mind and home space om. Must master my headstand om. Must om. Om. Ommmmmm. Don't judge.

I'm really susceptible to food advertising

I just rehearsed a song for tomorrow, and it really let me know that I'm not as good a sight reader as I like to pretend I am. Sheesh, it's a monster! I have to be at school so early tomorrow I want to cry. So much to do this week, and I feel like I'm really far behind on everything already because i was completely out of commission this weekend. I feel more confident about my current song than I did earlier. Dan read it for me and laughed the whole time, so I'm reassured.

As far as yoga month goes, I've not been about to do nearly as much yoga as I would like. My cold has slowed me down quite a bit. At least at home I've been able to do a lot of thinking, and I've worked through a bunch of mental stuff that's really been bogging me down. Getting through all that has been useful, and I'll still have issues with things of course, but I feel much more comfortable with myself and with everything I was dealing with. I don't think I will be up for a class again yet tomorrow, even though I really want to get back to it. I'm just coughing too much still, even though I'm feeling much much better than I did.

Anyway, this week will get me back into the swing of things. Regular grad school starts back up, I'll be getting back to yoga, NYAS is kicking back in, and Miss America is happening. Miss America will be strange since the whole blog started to help me track my journey to becoming MA 2009. I'm glad I'm having people over this Saturday for Miss America, because it means that I'll scrub the house down.

That's all for now. Very short entry. I have to get to bed. Be sure to check out the links. I've updated them and tried to put in links to the blogs of my friends.

dying

I'm dying. I had a ridiculous fever all day yesterday and for a lot of today. It's finally passed, but I still feel like crap. Ugh, what to write?

The winter workshop at school wrapped up today. I have no idea how things ended since I missed school today, but I'm sure it was fun and lovely. I heard my song went over well, and that's all I really care about. My puppet show yesterday was a hit as well.

Today I have done nothing but sit on the couch and watch The Wire. It's pretty good. I have icky body aches and all I want to do is sit and not move. I slept so much yesterday and today, and I feel like I should just sleep some more until I'm not sick anymore, but I don't think I can actually fall asleep right now as I'm kind of loopy on cold medicine. I think I have the flu. I thought it was some stomach thing at first, because I puked my brains out two nights ago, but I didn't really see that coming as I had zero stomach pain. And everything since then has been sinusy. Sore throat, watery eyes sort of stuff. Lots of coughing. Hopefully I didn't get anyone at school sick. Anyway, I need to get over it fast as school starts up for real next week and there's a lot I have to do.

Cream of the Crap (tentative title) is meeting again this weekend to share stuff we've written and to piece together our first podcast. I need to work on that tomorrow. I also need to finish my saga song and send lyrics to my composer. I'm talking too much about school. I'll get reprimanded on Tuesday, I'm sure. Screw it. I'm too sick to care.

My friend Cait's cabaret is going up again tomorrow night. I went to it last week and told her I'd try to come again this week, but if I'm still feeling like this tomorrow there is no way I'm going to make it to her show. I feel like there's a lot of stuff I need to do this weekend. I want to go to yoga again, but I'm too ill. There's no way I'd survive a class like this. Also, CAP21 is having a New Year party for alumni, but I'm not sure I want to go to that. If I can convince Schneider to come with me then I'll go.

I'm too sick to focus on this. Sorry, blog readers, but I can't write anything good right now. All I can do is be loopy and watch The Wire.

Yoga Peeps and Dinner Parties

Namaste! Yoga month continues, and I think the whole point of the practice is starting to kick in. I don't mean the physical, kick-your-butt, exercise part of it. I mean the mental stuff. Yesterday afternoon I went to a class and dragged along my number 2 gay Dan. The class was very focused on just releasing all the mental gunk from my day, my week, my life and focusing completely on my breath and how my body felt (and since some of the asanas were intense, I really did notice how my body was feeling). I let go of everything and didn't think. I just moved and breathed, and it was a wonderful feeling. It's so fantastic sometimes to just focus on the present moment. What am I doing right now and how does it make me feel, or better yet, what can I do right now to make me feel content? I have been spending the whole week worrying about various (mainly one) "what if"s, and it just does not matter. What ifs are about the future, and no one can predict it, so I should live my life now and do things that make me feel good about myself and useful to the world right now, right this minute, or I could let my whole life just slip right past me. I don't want to look back at different times in my life and say, "well, at least I was careful all the time." I want to experience as much as I can, and worrying about what might or might not be is a waste of time and nothing else. We ended the yoga class with a quote from Rainer Maria Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet, that pretty much summed up all of this and really hit home with me. Here it is.

"I want to beg of you much as I can to be patient
toward all that's unsolved in your heart,
and learn to love the questions themselves,
like locked rooms, or like books that are
written in a very foreign tongue.

Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you,
because you would not be able to live them,
and the point is to live everything.

Live the question now,
perhaps you will then, gradually, without noticing it,
live along some distant day into the answer."

I think the best part of this is that it ends by reminding you that in time your what ifs are usually answered through your simply living them out. I think that's beautiful.

Okay, enough yoga month stuff. I also met with the Cream of the Crap (tentative title) yesterday. We're going to have podcasts and they're going to be brilliant (no guarantees), so keep checking back here for updates on that. We'll be setting up a blog and RSS feed for this stuff and hopefully we'll have our first show up on iTunes by February 7th. That's the goal anyway. Writing writing writing!! Spread the word, tell your friends that Cream of the Crap (tentative title) is coming soon!

Also, I worked on three different songs yesterday in the basement of the library with Dan, and I think I got a lot done even though I didn't finish any of those songs. I made serious ground on all of them and in much less time than it usually takes me at home. I'm thinking I should go to the library more often. It's quiet and there aren't any distractions.

After the library, Dan and I went to that yoga class, but after that the evening really started. We met up with Paul, Jess, V, and Aaron at V's gorgeous apartment on the Upper West Side (I'm completely in love with it and endlessly jealous of V) for a dinner party. Jess and I chatted. Paul and V made delicious risotto. Dan told funny stories and fell down on purpose twice, which delighted all of us and cannot be fully explained. Robert joined us, and we watched, I'm guessing, two million episodes of 30Rock. We danced, we laughed. It was just a lovely night.

And speaking of lovely nights, I still haven't written about Bye Bye, Birdie at KidzTheater! The show was fantastic! Those kids amaze me every time I see them perform, and I love love love them and their energy. They're inspiring. Plain and simple. After the show I got to see Patrice, Katie, Sara, Luzma, Ashley, and Kristen. I also got to meet Luzma's husband for the first time, which was nice. He seems sweet. Sara, Ashley, Kristen, and I then went to Trailer Park on 23rd Street where we ate tater tots and sweet potato fries and drank champagne in cans. Champagne in cans. You read that right. With little plastic wrapped straws attached to the sides of the cans like a Hi-C or a Capri Sun. Check out my Facebook for photographic proof. So weird.

Okay. I've got to get back to writing songs instead of blog entries now. I have one due tomorrow and a ten minute puppet show due on Thursday!!
xo

Picking up the pace

Yoga month continues to make me notice my lack of enlightenment, though I am not sure how one knows when they are enlightened, or what one is supposed to be looking for. A guess a sense of being complete as you are in the world that you know. Something along those lines.

Anyway, I'm meeting with a little writing group today at the library, and we're going to discuss musical podcasts that we'd like to start. I think right now we are calling ourselves "cream of the Crap" but don't quote me on that. It could change after today's meeting.

Then I need to write about seven million songs (well, really like three halves of separate songs), and hit up yoga class. Tomorrow night is candle-light yoga. I doubt my hair will catch on fire, but I'm tempted to tell everyone it did afterwards just because it'll be entertaining. So far, yoga month is making me more sore than anything else. Although, I do feel rather muscley. That's nice I suppose. Just as long as I don't wind up with creepy Madonna arms. ick.

Okay, I'm running late. More later.

Positivity

I have a lot of good people and things in my life. Sometimes I get upset and forget this, but I really am one of the luckiest people I know, and I'd do well to remind myself of this more often.

Tom and H and I had a nice night in. We made fancy nachos and played Trivial Pursuit, and I played the piano some, too, which was nice. I think I'll play a little more before I go to bed (which I need to do soon). I'm at an amazing school pursuing something I truly love. I have supportive parents. I live with my best friend. All in all, I'm doing pretty well.

I'm still wildly sore from yoga, but hopefully tomorrow I will finally be able to move without cringing again. I don't have class until 11 tomorrow, so I will have time in the morning to do sleep in and do sun salutations. That should loosen me up again and make me feel better. Also tomorrow I'm going to see my friend Kristen's children's theatre company put on Bye Bye, Birdie, so that should be fun. Everyone should check out Kidz Theater. It's an amazing organization that gives young actors tons of performance opportunities and puts on stellar productions. I think their Seussical! was the best production of that show I've seen, and the only other productions of it I've seen were professional ones.

My friend Cait's cabaret is this Friday, and I'm looking forward to that, too. I like being back in the city, because I always seem to keep myself so busy. It's nice having things to do and friendly faces to see, and getting out and enjoying the city makes coming home to my apartment more enjoyable too.

Oh! Speaking of enjoying the city, Yoga to the People, the pay as you wish yoga place that kicked my butt two days ago, has candle-light yoga on Sundays. You'd better believe I'll be going and making a full report of the experience. I also need to attempt a hot yoga class sometime this month to write about that as well. I'll probably wait until the very end of the month to do that so I'm a little more conditioned for it though. I think I've reached a point where I need to research yoga a bit more. I liked reading the magazine I got on it, but I'm sure wikipedia can give me more information and make me feel a tad more knowledgeable on the subject. If I'm actually going to follow through and write this book, I should know what I'm talking about, and even if the book never happens, I should at least follow through with diving into yoga whole-heartedly this month. I'm already looking forward to opera month. The Met has an intro to opera class on February 1st! How perfect is that? Check this out!

Okay. Piano and then bed. Sweet dreams.

Life is kicking in

Today was exhausting! I hardly slept last night, because I had a horrid horrid nightmare in which I was really pregnant and then had a very gory miscarriage and almost died. I woke up all freaked out and crying and could fall back to sleep for ages. Once I did fall back asleep, I slept poorly again until my alarm went off. I got out of bed and could barely move. That yoga class kicked my ass yesterday, and I've been feeling it ALL day!

Anyway, being sore made today, which was a long school day anyway (9:00-5:30 in the same room), feel even longer. The exhaustion I'm feeling today after all of that is really making the reality of this semester kick in. I have a lot of work to do over the next couple weeks, and I have to do it all after very long days. I hope I can still have a bit of a social life or at least a little time to myself. I'll worry about all this more later.

Yoga month has taken its toll of my body. Every major muscle group I have is bitching right now. I've got a heat pack on my back, and I wish I had two more for my shoulders and legs. Even my butt is sore. Needless to say, I did not go to yoga class today. I will attempt to go again in the morning if I've recovered (and finished my homework).

Speaking of, that's all the blogging I can do tonight, because I have to write a song!

xo

Yoga month for reals, yo!

Today was the first day back at grad school. Lots of fun, and I was so happy to see everyone again, and I'm incredibly excited about the assignments we have coming up.

That's out of the way, on to YOGA! I took a class today at Yoga to the People. This place is pay what you wish yoga, and they have 60 minute classes several times a day throughout the week. It totally kicked my butt. I am not the best in the world at yoga, but I thought I'd be good enough for a pay as you wish class. My bad. I have no balance whatsoever! We went through tons of poses, and I got really connected with my breath and my core (despite my lack of balance), and the class was just downright fun. Moves were challenging enough to keep the class from becoming boring, but there wasn't any sort of pressure in the class. The atmosphere was open and enjoyable. At the end of class, the teacher read a quote for us to reflect on, which I love because yoga always gets my creative juices flowing, and I want to hear something inspiring on my way out the door. The teacher was the guy who opened the studio, and he didn't talk in the typical granola bullshit speak that yoga teachers can sometimes use. He talked like a normal person who happens to know yoga. He also played Beyonce music on a low volume throughout the class, which was fine by me. I've never been in a yoga class where they played music before, but it made it more fun I think. I got into my breath easier, and I felt like my movements were more fluid. Apparently they're opening a hot yoga studio that's going to be pay as you wish as well. Can't wait to try that. It opens a week from today, so you better believe I'll be visiting it in yoga month!

Now that you know the class kicked my butt and the teacher was cool, let me tell you about how nice the facility was. It was on the second floor of a building on St. Mark's Place between Third and Second Avenues, and it was a long room with beautiful exposed brick walls and tall windows at one end of the room. The room was pretty much packed, but I wasn't spaced so closely to anyone that I bumped into people. I had room to move. There were high ceilings, and the light was not overly harsh. They also had some lovely hanging plants in the window, which helped keep the studio from feeling too creepily sterile, like some yoga and dance studios do. This place gets a high recommendation from me, and I'll be going back there for class again tomorrow night!

And now it's bedtime.

Back to reality!

I'm sitting here on the couch in Brooklyn, all dressed for yoga class at noon. Can't wait! I'm going to a yoga studio that I've never been to before, so I'll be sure to scope it out really well and give a full report about the facility and the instructor.

Yesterday was my big travel day back to New York. It wasn't all that bad. Camille and my eldest nephew drove me to Memphis. We got lunch at Cracker Barrel (aka Camille's favorite clothing store), and then they dumped me out at the airport. No hassles and no delays unlike my flight to Memphis. The plane even landed about twenty minutes early. I got home and played with Walken a bit before ordering a pizza and putting my feet up. It's nice to be home. However, Hudson did remind me that it's yoga month, and I got up did some warrior stuffs for a while. It was nice and got me focused again.

OMG! Then we watched the most depressing documentary I've ever seen called Dear Zachary. Google it. It's horrific, but we couldn't stop watching. We stayed up until 1 in the morning to find out what was going to happen. Makes me really really glad I'm not Canadian. You weren't expecting me to say that, I know, but it's true.

SCHOOL STARTS BACK UP TODAY! I have no idea what we're doing today, though. We are supposed to meet at the school at 1:30, and we have no end time, and the meeting is not titled or anything like a class would be (i.e., Advanced Beginner Jazz/Funk). I hope it doesn't take all day. I don't really have anything else to do, so I guess it wouldn't matter if it lasted into the night, but I like knowing what I'm doing in advance to some degree, especially if it's in a group. I'm sure they'll give out a more detailed schedule when we get there as the whole first two weeks of class are unlabeled at the moment. That's all I should say about school. I get in trouble for blogging about it.

Mostly, I'm excited to see my classmates again. It's gonna be a big love fest up in there, I betcha. Okay, I'm off to my first real yoga class of yoga month! Wish me luck!

Yoga day 3 + Old Friends

Most friends fade
Or they don't make the grade.
New one's are quickly made
And in a pinch, sure, they'll do.
But us, old friend,
What's to discuss, old friend?
Here's to us — who's like us?
Damn few!

I love Alicia and Alexis from high school. They made the whole thing tolerable, hell, even fun, and they're still my best friends from high school. We went out to Colton's to dinner tonight, and we just had a good time being gossipy girls. We all talked about things girls talk about. That's top secret though, and Tom is reading this, so I can't reveal what it is that girls talk about. Anyway, the food was good, we all looked hotter than everyone else in Batesville, and we got all caught up on each other's lives. Alexis had to dash back to Jonesboro tonight, so she took off right after dinner, but Alicia and I wandered around Hasting's and even made a Wal-Mart run (I wanted to get deodorant here since it's cheaper than in NY. I'm such a dork.) Then she drove me back to the Colonel's and Camille's and came in and looked at my old room and talked to the folks for a bit. I showed her a photo of the gentleman on the Facebook, and she said he's quite handsome, and I agreed wholeheartedly. She then had to go pick up her husband and head home. We hugged and did the whole, "see you next Christmas" thing. It's so weird to only see them once a year. I'd love to find a way to visit again this summer. I miss these crazy kids and my parents and my nephews. Also, I miss seeing Arkansas in the summer months. I wanna come back and go camping and hiking and caving.

Anyway, tomorrow I fly back to NY. I pretty much finished cleaning out my old bedroom. It's very bizarre. My shelves are empty. My dresser is empty. My nightstand is empty. My closet has some books and boardgames on the shelves, but other than that, it's empty, too. I spent most of today going through old photographs, and the craziest thing happened. I found a stack of photos of me with various people at stage doors from all the tours I went to see between the ages of 11 and 17, and in the middle of this stack was a photo of me with the gentleman's Vermont roommate after the national tour of Phantom of the Opera that I saw in Memphis on my 17th birthday. I couldn't believe it, so I dug out the Playbill (I have a huge Rubbermaid tub full of the things) and found his name and everything. Small world, huh? Anyway, I scanned it and emailed it to the gentleman, who I believe was amused by the whole thing, but sadly it lead to me telling stories of how retardedly fangirly I was in junior high and high school. Ick. It was my birthday, and Ted Keegan and Rebecca Pitcher sang "Happy Birthday" to me at the stage door, and it totally made my senior year. I even sent brownies backstage to the cast in a shirt box upon which I had written something along the lines of "Today is Becca's birthday! She's 17 years old. Phantom of the Opera is 14 years and [X] months and [X] days old!" That's right. I calculated the age of Phantom of the Opera from its Broadway opening night, because I was that obsessed with Phantom growing up. It's the whole reason I started taking ballet lessons (too late), because I wanted to play Christine and I needed to dance en pointe. Anyway, life has changed a lot. I'm now a mezzo, and I realized I'm not ever going to be a dancer (thanks, CAP21), and I can't stand the lyrics in Phantom (expect for Prima Donna, which I still love and think is brilliant).

Enough of my lameness. Ick. ICK! yoga month. I didn't do any asanas today. I'm awful, I know. It's day three, and I've already messed up. I did do the nadi sodhana breathing thing (I love it! You don't need a mat to do it!), and I'm half reading a wikipedia article about yoga right now, but I really didn't dive into everything like I should. In my defense, I did have to finish throwing away my entire childhood today before I could head back north. I should probably be doing yoga now instead of blogging. Ugh. Anyway, I'm getting up early to do sun salutations before we drive to the airport. That's something, and once I'm in the city again I can put more effort into this since I can go to classes. No where in Batesville offers yoga classes of any sort. Lame, right?

I guess that's all, really. Arkansas has been a blast, and I've loved reconnecting with my family and friends. This has been the most relaxing trip back to the South I've had since I came home for my Miss Arkansas summer. I'm sad that my winter break is coming to an end, but I feel revitalized, and I think this new semester and new year will bring a lot of opportunities for growth, new experiences, friendship, love, creativity, and just general exploration of myself and my world. 2009, here I come!

Yoga day 2

I got up and did sun salutations for 45 minutes before my shower this morning. I should have done more, but space is very limited in the upstairs hallway where I've been doing my yoga here in AR. Anyway, I ended everything with that breathing exercise nadi sodhana, and I'm still liking it, though it really highlights whether or not your sinuses are stopped up. I can't wait to be back in Brooklyn with my humidifier. I'm spoiled. Oh! I used the wall, but I did a headstand. I've never actually attempted a full one before. I usually just do shoulder stands or keep one foot down during headstands. I wobbled, of course, but I made myself do it, and I feel like it's something I could master during this month. It'd be pretty cool to be able to do one away from the wall by February, so I'm gonna keep trying them. I love how I feel after doing an inversion (upside down anything). It makes me feel super energized and creative. I wanna sing after them. Is that silly?

After my sun salutations and my shower, I played with Camille's chihuahua for a bit, ate some Cheerios, and sat in the Colonel's recliner. That is an amazing chair and I understand why he sits in it for hours every day. Then we went and meet Ernie and my nephews for lunch at Mi Pueblito (my little pueblo?). Jonathan was also there. Jonathan is Ernie's girlfriend's son, and I've heard tons about him, but I've never met him before. He must be two or three. He was small and funny and adorable and talked to me about trains. When he walks he moves his hands around like wheels, and you can say, "Jonathan, back up!" and he'll not only walk backwards, but reverse the direction he was turning his hands (so his wheels are going the right way). How cute is that? I love Arkansas for the good Mexican food. If nothing else, we have kick-ass Mexican food!!!!!

Then we all headed back to the house where Suzi was waiting with a movie she wanted to watch with me. The boys went upstairs and started playing an amazing PS3 game called Call of Duty: World at War in which you can be the Allied Forces against the Nazis and you can play it online with a team of people from around the world. I watched the boys play it for a while and was totally blown away. So cool. Anyway, Suzi wanted to watch Me, Myself, and Irene, and I stupidly said sure, since I'd never seen it before. What a waste of two hours of my life! Horrid! It wasn't even funny. There was one element that amused me, and that was that Jim Carrey's character had these three MENSA-brained black teenage sons, but they weren't even used properly. Crash and burn film. boo.

After Suzii left, Camille and I wandered in the woods with flashlights looking for that earring I lost yesterday. We didn't find it. Oh well. I feel like a total jerk for losing it already. I should have not said anything about it to Camille. She's upset about it.

I continued cleaning out my childhood bedroom tonight, and I found a hilarious journal entry about being upset about the caliber of my high school production of Once Upon a Mattress, and a ton of poems I wrote for various high school English classes. They were quite ridiculous, but I got A's on all of them, so I guess that's something.

Anyway, it's midnight, so I should hit the hay. More yoga tomorrow and then Sunday I fly home!!

Happy New Year full of New Things!

First of all HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Now on to the meat.

Today began the first day of my year of diving into things. January is yoga month, and I didn't really do much diving. I slept in, got up and chatted with the gentleman for a while, cooked huevos rancheros for the fam (not the most yogic of foods, I'm guessing), wrote some, watched Mythbusters with Camille (fascinating show that I've never watched before. Those guys are insane!), went for a hike, lost an earring (in the woods, maybe? Why was I wearing them on my hike? I have no idea where its is), wrote some more, ate dinner, watched Children of Men with the Colonel, and then realized I'd not done anything yoga-related all day!

SO! I rushed upstairs, changed into some loose clothes, and did about an hour of asanas (that's yoga for "poses," y'all) that I already knew, sat and breathed for five minutes, and read a couple articles in a yoga magazine I picked up the other day. Everything in it definitely lets me know that I am only tinkering in a huge realm where some people devote their lives. I feel very silly and unqualified, and cannot wait to get back to the city so I can take an actual class with an actual teacher.

I read a lovely article aboutaparigraha, which is the concept of non-possessiveness. This is something I think about almost every day anyway, as living in a small space in a large city (with no closet) makes you overly aware of how much stuff you have. Aparigraha is about cleansing your life of physical things and learning to share your energy and yourself with others. I like to think I share myself pretty well, but I do have a lot of junk in my life that weighs me down. I think my problem is general laziness. I'm all for throwing things out and moving on to new life stages (I'm not sure what that means, but it sounded like a real term. Is it? Life stage? Maybe that's not what I mean), but I just haven't taken the time to do it. I know that in the bottom drawer of my desk there is a baseball glove. I cannot remember the last time I used it. It must have been my sophomore year of college in Central Park. I've probably only used it twice in NYC. Twice in the past seven years. I don't need it. Stuff like that is all over my life, and I really should cleanse my home of it all. I think that would be a nice thing to do during yoga month. I'll let you know how it goes.

Also, the magazine showed me a new breathing exercise I've never tried before, and it's something simple that makes you really really focus on breathing, which I love as it's simple and clears your mind. Nadi sodhana is breathing alternately through your passive and your active nostril. First you hold down one nostril and breathe. Then you do the other. This should show you pretty quickly which is your dominant nostril. I never even knew I had a dominant nostril! Mine is my right, which is associated with the Sun, and breathing through it warms your body and activates your left brain getting you all good at math or something, I'm sure. Your left nostril is associated with the moon, cools your body, and activates your right brain which makes you write poetry or listen to emo music. Anyway, I breathed through both (individually) for what felt like ages, and it was quite relaxing and drained a lot of the stress of the day away from me. Not that today was overly stressful or anything, but you know what I mean.

Anyway, I enjoyed the yoga I did, the yogic thinking/reading I did, and the fact that I started my year of new things off right. I'm looking forward to getting up and doing more tomorrow!

New subject. I want to go to Austria. Maybe over spring break, but if not then, maybe 2010, and I'll do something else over spring break. I'm living off of loans right now, and I know I'll have extra money from them, AND once I start paying them back I will never be able to travel again, SO I think I should plan my Austria trip now. I'd also like to go to India, but I just don't see that happening. It's so wildly expensive to go there. Maybe Italy? That's got lots of nice history [food]. Thoughts?

Final note: I'm still taking suggestions for things to do for November and December, and if I get lots of suggestions I like, I might even change one of my already-planned months.